WHO SAID? Whose word will you take? What's true and what's fake? How can you tell and who cares? In 1961 when my first child was born, it caused me to radically reconsider what I thought was important in life. I began searching for truth I could stake my life on. I checked out different philosophies and religions and concluded they were a lot like men I had dated: full of false promises, conflicting and unreliable. Then I reread The New Testament twice. At first it was hard for me to appreciate it's concepts on authority, truth and love; justice and forgiveness; because I had redefined those things to fit my lifestyle choices. Then I began to look back and admit that I had been self-deceived because I believed that I was living by my own rules. I had had a good self-image based on the fact that I had my own code of ethics that directed my decisions. But I began to see that when my rules didn't fit my situation I simply changed the rules to try to justify my behavior. As I sank deeper into rebellion, I had used my bitterness and fears to excuse my offenses. The truth is I was more concerned with looking good then being good. My moral standard had become based more on whether or not I could get caught in my own web of lies, then on how much I was violating the rights of others. I felt humbled and hopeless. So I decided to talk to God about it. Even though it was so long ago , I still remember my prayer. I said, "God if you're there, (and I think you are), I know I have no right to talk to you since I've already ruined my life. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want the broken pieces, now that I've wrecked what you gave me. But the Bible says, Jesus already paid the penalty for my sin against you, so please forgive me and make me clean." After that I felt wonderful for about 2 weeks and then fell back into my old sinful ways. I had not expected that; and decided maybe I needed to say a better prayer. So I tried again following a church's recommended 'Sinner's Prayer' pattern 'inviting Jesus into my heart'. After that my good life lasted about 2 days. I wondered why this worked for lots of others; but I couldn't seem to get it right. I wanted to be good and please God, but it never lasted. Why was I still trapped by guilt and shame? I would seek relief from self condemnation by using sinful pleasures to soothe my achy heart. I knew something was still missing. So I went back to the Bible to try to find it. The key seemed to be to 'repent and believe'. John, Jesus, Peter and Paul all said it. I had tried over and over to repent/turn away from my sin; but my will power only carried me so far before I would slide back into my old habits. I had surrendered what I understood of myself to what I understood of God; and I only had a small grasp of either one. But I'm not a quitter. I kept reading The Bible realizing that the more I read it the more power I had over my sin. I knew it wasn't magic; but I didn't understand how it worked. I believed Jesus died so I could be forgiven; but did not fully get why he had to die in order for God to forgive me. Actually for that matter why should anybody have to die for sin. Why can't God just ignore it or at least not make such a big deal over it? Why are the "wages of sin death?" Who is God anyways? Reading the Bible reveals the Author. Slowly I began to see that as the Author of all God is by very definition the standard of truth, right and wrong. He has both the qualifications and right to rule the universe He created. God made people in his own image to reflect his truth and love in friendship with him and each other. Truth and love are the foundation of justice. Justice is the dividing line between right and wrong. Justice satisfies an obligation. Just judgments give people what they deserve. Those concepts are throughout the Bible but are summed up in verses like Psalm 89:14 that says that justice and judgment are the foundation of God’s throne, and that mercy and truth go out before his face. Like everyone else I had a built in desire for justice even when I denied truth. When my rights were violated I got mad, felt vengeful and wanted the offender who violated my rights to pay for my loss. When an offender denied or ignored the pain they had caused me: either by saying that I deserved it, I’m too sensitive, or they couldn’t help it: that intensified the problem. The offender’s disrespect increased my resentment. Trying to forget about it or just move on only worked until there was a reminder of the offense which caused my bitterness to resurface revealing the festering wound. Not only was the relationship split up, so was my soul. I didn’t want to keep offending God, by rejecting his authority and breaking his rules; because I was afraid that sooner or later I was going to take 1 step too far over the line committing 1 violation too many or 1 offense too nasty and God might just be done with me, leaving no hope of reconciliation. But I kept going back to the Bible to find help. I reread Acts 20:21 and it was a real eye opener! Paul said the gospel he preached is "repentance toward God and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ." It seemed odd that Paul said repentance toward God rather than just saying repentance from sin. I thought about what that meant to 'repent toward God'. It seemed like that kind of repentance would mean totally change my mind about God’s goodness and right to rule. That had been a problem for me. I had to admit that I was angry with God for allowing bad things to happen in my life. I remember thinking at one point in my teens that God had messed up the world and I wasn't going to let him mess up my plans. I said I didn't ask to be born; therefore I wasn't obligated to God for giving me life. So how could I suddenly start letting him make all the rules for my life in every situation even if I didn't understand why he was allowing tough stuff? This seemed a bit harder than repenting of the 'bad' sins I had committed. Moving on, I thought about Romans 6:23 that says, "The wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord". I focused on the gift part. If it's a gift, it's totally free. I don't need to pay for it to get it; and I don't need to pay for it to keep it. I didn't give enough thought to the fact that it was free for me, but it cost God everything. I began to ponder the death penalty part. I used to say my sin wasn't hurting anyone but me. But becoming a mom helped me face the truth that my sin was damaging to everyone in my life, most obviously my precious little daughter. Sin wasn't a small flaw, it is raw selfishness. Sin is stealthy, and can spread like cancer invading, distorting and destroying the good in its path. Finally, I got to 1 John 1:9 again and began to gain an understanding after rereading it in context. To begin with, I saw that this passage was addressing people who had believed and received the gospel message of salvation from all sin. Then I slowly considered the meaning of the words. This verse says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." To confess means to admit that I have committed an offense; it matters; & and it's my own fault. For God to be just/fair to forgive: the offense had to be paid for. Forgive means to cancel a debt, choosing to bear the cost myself; no longer holding the offense against the violator; thereby giving up my desire to punish/take revenge/get payback; no longer harboring a grudge against the offender.. Sins are not accidental errors. They are the result of our disrespect for God's government, and our arrogant desire to overrule his authority and wisdom. Sinning against anyone discredits the image of God in which we are all made. Cleanse is the process of getting rid of something. All means no exceptions. Unrighteousness is wickedness, evil doing, wrongful thoughts and actions. The Bible caused me to see myself in the light of God's goodness. I began to understand what love really is. I used to think God wasn't fair. I blamed him for suffering that was really the result of consequences from my own sin and the sin of other people. If everyone perfectly obeyed God's law which reflects his character there would be no sin and its awful effects. If everyone perfectly obeyed the law of God in the 10 commandments everyone would be a good friend. There would not only be peace and safety, the world would be full of happy people living with no worries about being lied to, stolen from, cheated on, or used and abused. As I looked more closely at the seriousness of my sin, it gave me a much better grasp of its cost; and the outrageous price God had to pay in order to forgive me because he cannot violate justice which would violate both truth and love. Jesus Christ traded his righteousness and innocence for my sin and shame; then he poured out his lifeblood serving the death penalty to satisfy justice for my offences. I began to see the extreme love that God displayed on the cross where Jesus sacrificed his life to rescue me from the wrath of God that my sin so richly deserves. That new perspective amplified the words of 1 John 4:19 that says, "We love him because he first loved us." My increased recognition of the depth of my depravity, and the overwhelming cost of "the gift of God that is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord", changed me from being fear driven to being motivated by love. Now I wanted to please God, not so he wouldn't reject me and give me what my treasonous rebellion deserves, but because I love him and want to serve Him out of gratitude for all he has done for me. I certainly do not want to grieve him with any more sin. So as I continually surrender to The Holy Spirit of God, he uses the word of God to change me into the image of God. My world is still filled with trials and temptations; but now I am no longer alone in the battle. Phil. 2:13 says, "It is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure." Everything that is for God’s glory is for my good, because he loves me and proved it when he laid down his life for me. 2,000 years ago while my sin was still in the future Jesus paid the full price for all of it: past, present and future. I am forever free because I belong to Jesus who redeemed me. I am no longer a slave to sin because Jesus broke the power of sin and death. God will provide the ability to obey his will; but he will not remove our free will to choose our own way. God did not give daddy Adam a so-called sin nature; but he gave him free will so he would not be a mere puppet. Love does not exist without freedom to reject or accept; and God made people to reflect his love. The greatest way to honor someone is to want to reflect their values. We have the same choice our ancestors had. We can take God at his word or try to find life apart from him attempting to be our own god trying to control ourselves and others. As for me, even though I still stumble and fall, I will always by his grace get back up and strive to live for Christ and Christ alone. I've learned that we become like what we focus on. It’s our own free choice. Pride filled bitterness and temporal pleasures are not worth living for. We're only here for a second compared to eternity. What we believe determines how we behave. I was forgiven much so I love much and have decided to live for the one who died for me by focusing on him and his word. I know I can trust God to keep his word. 1 Cor. 10:13 says, God will not allow us to be tempted above what we are able and will always provide a way of escape. I just need to chose to pray and depend on him no matter what!. But that sort of thing is offensive to those who reject God and his word. People who believe an accident in infinity caused chaos to produce an unplanned pattern for life, have no reason to believe in an absolute standard for absolute truth/right and wrong; and have trouble tolerating those who disagree. Seriously, what does it matter if you think we're all just going to end up as compost anyways. I said all that to help you see why I want to share what I discovered in The Bible with anyone who will hold still long enough to listen. So I wrote this little book to help you find out that The Bible not only has the answers to life's deepest questions, it's an amazing adventure book that could only have been written by someone who is not confined by space and time. The Bible claims to be the word of God which would mean it is the absolute truth from the Creator who is by very definition the ultimate standard of truth. Will you consider why you believe what you believe; how you know it's true, and what difference it will make in your life both now and forever if you're wrong? Some people dismiss all that by simply saying, 'There is no such thing as absolute truth'. But that is an absolute truth statement making it self-contradictory and logically impossible. Besides that, without the basis of absolute truth there is no real justice; and denying truth can't change the consequences of truth. If you are seeking truth you will find it in the Bible; but most people are not seeking truth; just as most lawbreakers are not seeking a law enforcement officer. I've been challenged many times by people who are prejudiced against Bible believers, claiming it was made up by primitive tribesmen who couldn't read or write. I studied the history of the Bible and will share with you some of the things I learned about how we actually got the best seller of all ages. I hope and pray you are a seeker; and that this book about the book of books will lead you to read The Bible and become all that you were meant to be. So with all that as an introduction, the purpose of the rest of this book is to provide a description of how people received and recorded the information provided in The Bible; and why it’s worth the time to check it out. Our times are in His hands - Mae